


Trial By Children

by Barid (Finale)



Series: Reset the Clock [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 20:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21086990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finale/pseuds/Barid
Summary: There is only one way for Naruto, Sakura, Sai and Sasuke to tolerate Madara, and it's not even something he intentionally does.It is something that makes him a bit of a hypocrite in terms of accusing Izuna of accidentally fathering Sasuke though...





	Trial By Children

Madara considers himself good at dealing with children. 

So Hashirama and Tobirama’s children hating him is baffling, especially since before the first peace talk he’d never met them. The quartet seemed to loath his very existence, and he has to be very, very careful about where any of them are at any given moment. Sakura in particular, after witnessing her poke a boulder and shatter it with little effort. Based on how all four of them had tried to kick him in the crotch at least once, if she did it he’d never have children. 

Or he may die. That’s also rather possible. 

“Brooding on how much the kids hate you?” Izuna asks, a still healing bruise on his face. Madara’s not even sure he wants to know. “You’ve got your brooding face on, and I know for once it can’t be over the clan elders. Or at least not  _ entirely _ over them.”

“It’s over the kids,” Madara admits. “I don’t know what I did for them to hate me so much! Sasuke’s first reaction to me was to kick me in the crotch, Naruto sicced a pack of kitsune on me,” and that had been terrifying  _ because where the hell had the kitsune even come from?! _ , “Sai did something to trap me in a closet. Sakura, well…” He winces. “If one of her trees attempts to eat us I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“They don’t hate me as much as they hate you,” Izuna points out. “Admittedly, that’s a very low bar, but they don’t.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re Sasuke’s biological father?”

“For the last time, no I’m not. I’m not that bad at keeping it in my pants brother, and even when I do have sex, I make sure I’m  _ not _ going to accidentally impregnant someone. There’s a reason no one’s showed up with a baby.”

Madara gives Izuna a skeptical look. 

Izuna rolls his eyes. 

“You’re the only one who even vaguely seems like he’ll have a sex life in the near future,” Izuna adds. 

“I do not want to sleep with either Senju brother,” Madara instinctively says. He had been asked that far too often lately. Or ‘advised’ by the elders to propose to Tobirama to ‘create a proper alliance and reclaim those two boys as clan members’. 

The only desires he has in relation to Tobirama’ genitals is to kick him repeatedly in them, and make sure he can never reproduce. 

“I was referring to the situation you’ve been having with Akahana.”

Madara stiffens. He had not been aware Izuna knew about that. 

“There is no situation,” he lies. 

“That’s bullshit. I know you’ve been secretly courting her. Even if I don’t get why you’ve been doing it in secret, she only tried to kill you three times,” Izuna says. “What’s going on? It’s not like you’re already sleeping with her,” he jokes. “Or that she’s pregnant.”

Madara stiffens further, because. Well. He  _ is _ sleeping with her. And based on the message she’d sent him this morning, he may be being a bit hypocritical over Izuna not being careful about those he’s been bedding. Thank the Sage he had already proposed to Akahana...

“So, we need to further discuss the issue of how to get Hashirama and Tobirama’s children to like me.”

“Wait, brother, _ what?! _ You’ve been telling me to not sleep around  _ while you’ve been sleeping with Akahana?!” _

**Fuck. **

* * *

Sakura isn’t entirely clear on why they’re supposed to care that Madara is getting married. So what? He’s getting married to some other member of the Uchiha clan. It’s not like it’s Dad, or Mom, or Uncle Tobi, or Aunt Touka. They’d all been afraid he’d propose a marital alliance with Uncle Tobi. To ‘create bonds and ensure peace between our clans.’

She pauses and frowns. 

“Sasuke, was Madara married in our timeline?” She doesn’t remember anything in their textbooks talking about a wife. Then again, they hadn’t exactly mentioned Izuna either...

“He was,” Sasuke says with a nod of his head. “His wife died when she had their daughter. No one ever told me what happened to the daughter. I just know she never lived in Konoha and was never Clan heir. She must have been raised in the capital or something. I think his wife was from the Clan branch that lived there.”

“So the woman he’s marrying…?” 

“Is probably that wife,” Sasuke says with a second nod. 

“Wait, did he only go crazy because of Izuna dying, or because his wife died too?” Naruto asks. 

Sasuke opens his mouth and then looks thoughtful. “I don’t know,” he admits. “And it was more than that that made him go crazy,” he adds. “Zetsu helped with that.”

“So if they both survive then he won’t go crazy?” Naruto looks thoughtful, carefully nodding so Kurama, who’s perched on top of his head, doesn’t fall off. He ignores the second half of Sasuke’s statement. They’d already killed Zetsu anyway. Kurama had eaten it.

“...So that does that mean we should be nicer to him?” Sai asks, not entirely sure he wants to. He remembers how Kakashi and Tenzo died after all. 

“No, we just need to make sure that his wife doesn’t die,” Sakura corrects. “And Izuna.”

Now. How do they do that?

She grimaces. “Wait, we may actually have to be nice to him.”

“I don’t wanna.” 

“Same.”

“Really? We have to?”

“Well, how else are we supposed to be close enough to make sure his wife and Izuna don’t die?” 

_ “If you kill him first, all of this stops being an issue,” _ Kurama says.  _ “Just let me eat him.” _

Hmmm...tempting.

(Unfortunately, Kurama getting a Uchiha shaped snack is vetoed so their parents don’t get upset. Kurama still stands by that Mito at least would find it funny.)

* * *

“Madara, are you wary of children liking you?” Akahana asks, flicking her fan open to cover her mouth so no one can tell she’s teasing him. 

“I’m wary of those four suddenly deciding they like me,” he corrects. “They’ve either kicked me or attempted to kick me in the crotch.”

“Hmm. Will definitely need to make sure they stop that,” she says. “Then again, it hasn’t stopped you so far so…”

He side eyes her as she smirks at him. She delicately brushes the hand not holding her fan against her stomach, making him smile. 

Well, at least with this child he won’t have to be on trial. 

(Akahana still requires proof of that he’s good with children after watching him interact with the Senju children, who for some reason are always polite and friendly to her, since she believes he is exaggerating how they can be.)

**Author's Note:**

> Akahana can be written as 'red flower'. I personally find it very unlikely that Madara, who was clan head, was never married. It just doesn't make much sense. So. Akahana. And yes, she really did attempt to kill him three times, and the third time was stopped more by him proposing than anything else. 
> 
> Fun fact; the kids are not aware that they already averted the possibility of Izuna's death, or at least his canon death at Tobirama's hands. Due to how similar Izuna and Sasuke look like, Tobirama intentionally didn't go for a lethal blow. 
> 
> Yes, Zetsu has been dealt with and Kurama had a very strange tasting snack.
> 
> And if anyone is interested, I have a [Writing Discord](https://discord.gg/E9d73tB) these days!


End file.
